St. Thomas the Apostle

It's a shame to be remembered primarily for something that is embarrasing and not particularly flattering. I, for one, would be mortified if the chief thing people remembered about me was as the kid who got an eraser stuck in his nose in the fourth grade. I would hope that people realized that I had moved long past that point andhad done some other things in life that were more noble and enduring.

I wonder if St. Thomas had any clue that he would be forever memorialized by Christians and non-Christians alike as "doubting Thomas." Just as Seinfeld has contributed to mainstream culture such things as "close talker," yada yada yada," and "double-dipping," so Christian tradition has seen to it that "doubting Thomas" has trickled its way over the years into the mainstream of cultural vocabulary. A person who has never stepped into a church or opened a Bible knows about doubting Thomas. But is this completely fair?

I have heard many a piously-motivated and well-meaning preacher blast poor Thomas for his disbelief as if we ourselves would do no such thing if we saw the risen Lord. But perhaps it would give us a new perspective to put ourselves as best we can into the mind of Thomas at that very moment that he saw Jesus.

Imagine the grief you have felt at the loss of a close friend or family member. In some ways, you would do anything to have them back, but on the other hand, you know that deep down you must come to terms with the fact that this person is dead. They had died. They aren't coming back. And if you have been in the midst of a grueling process of grief you know that the rational words of comforters who talk much about our loved one "being in a better place" and "with God now" and other such platitudes provide little to no comfort at all, at least until the inebriating effect of grief begins to wear off. Simply put, promises made to us while we are in a rational state simply don't have much effect upon us when we are in an irrational state. This does not mean that the promise itself is invalid, it simply means that we don't have the capacity to take comfort in such promises until the initial storm surge of grief and pain subsides.

What grief Thomas must have felt. This Jesus whom he had put so much faith in, had travelled with, had given his heart to, had hung his every hope upon, was dead. He died. He was gone. Of course Thomas had heard and believed with the rest of the apostles all of the promises that Jesus had made, included the one about rising from the dead. But how could that be of comfort or rationally grasped at a time like this? To say that he should have been better prepared would be like saying that looking a map or a photo of Niagra falls is proper preparation for an actual jump into the falls.

My guess is that Thomas had just begun to get used to the fact that Jesus was gone and that it was simply too painful to even entertain the notion that this man standing before him could be Jesus. It was too risky to take back hold of someone he had just begun to let go. His problem was not so much that he doubted when he saw Jesus. His problem was that he wasn't with the rest of his brethren when he should have been. His grief he had borne in isolation and without the community of faith. While his brethren comforted one another in their pain and fear, he went at it alone, or at least without them. When individual faith is weak it needs the faith of the community to hold it up, just as Aaron and Joshua held up Moses hands as the Israelites did battle.

Once Thomas encountered Christ in the presence of his brethren, and once the Lord had graciously granted his demand for proof, his response was one that, while not as enduring as "doubting Thomas," has been on the lips of Catholic Christians for centuries during Mass: "My Lord and My God."

Not only did Thomas recognized the man Jesus in the resurrected flesh, he knew him as his Lord and his God. Quite a turn around.

All this is not to exculpate Thomas from his unbelief. He shouldn't have doubted. He should've held on more tightly to promise of his Lord even in the midst of pain and grief. But let us think twice before we hold our own faith to his as superior. We have not only the Holy Spirit in our hearts witnessing to the truth of our Lord's resurrection, we have 2,000 years of unbroken teaching concerning this great mystery. So when our faith is weak, we have this great pillar to lean upon. St Thomas didn't have this. He had himself and a relatively small band of fearful, quivering men.

The vindication of St. Thomas is found not only in his great acclamation of Jesus as Lord and God, but also in what that acclamation drove him to do. Myriad Christians in India look to St Thomas as their patron and founder of their Church, grateful that because he was so gripped by the message of his Lord and his God, he would traverse far across land and sea to bring the life-changing message of Jesus to an exotic land.

St Thomas, pray for us on this day as we honor you, that we may overcome our doubts and as we encounter the risen Lord, say with you, "My Lord and My God."


Everliving God, who didst strengthen thine apostle Thomas with sure and certain faith in thy Son's resurrection: Grant us so perfectly and without doubt to believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord and our God, that our faith may never be found wanting in thy sight; through him who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.